Saturday, 29 March 2014

Starting Something Big.

Alrighty ladies and gents!

I just want to touch base and let everyone know that I am kicking a lot of things off today. I have this blog that I've been in the process of devising for a couple of months now that I THINK is finally ready to be published. Alongside the blog, I also have a Facebook page that I have started up to support and enrich the lives of step and biological parents.

I also wanted to explain what this page means to me.

Personally, I am a step-mother. I am a step to three children and have been for nearly three years now. Each of the children have different mothers and therefore, each of the children are a different experience for both my husband and myself.

Most of our experiences with the mothers are relatively stress-free, but a stark change took over recently. 

For the last sixteen months my husband and I have been in and out of court with his ex-wife in an effort to just get more visitation and say in their daughter's life. It has been a long sixteen months which have only served to perpetuate the fears that Hollywood have instilled in me throughout my entire life. Fears of hatred, anger and tense communication that would leave everyone raw and filled with animosity. Fears that had since not come to fruition until court paperwork came into play. The gloves immediately came off and our worlds have been turned completely upside down.

I have followed many groups on Facebook, searching blindly for any kind of support. Reaching for answers to my thousands of questions. Questions that I discovered almost every single other person in these groups had as well. I felt like my experiences were all my own and completely unique, but they aren't... The stories are all the same, all that's been changed are the names and the small details. These groups helped me through a lot of my toughest days through all of this. They have offered words of advice, suggestions and just plain old love that I couldn't have gotten through people who haven't been through this.

Because of this support, I want to have a place where I can personally share my own stories. My ups and downs. A place that isn't being created to be hateful or bash anybody. No names will be shared, just the details of things that have or haven't worked and experiences.

Another reason I've decided to this this is because I wanted a place where I have control. So many days/months/years have passed now where I feel like my life is completely our of my grasp. I feel as though I have no say in what happens in my life. It seems as though BM and her family/friends can say whatever they want, whenever they want, and I just get to sit by and keep a brave face. And that's not fair. I have a voice and I want it to be heard. I want for the things that are incorrect to be corrected. I want people to be held accountable for their wrongdoings... To a degree.

Again, I don't plan for this to be a place that promotes bashing and shitty attitudes. I want it to be a place where I can defend myself and openly discuss issues without fear of repercussions.

Thanks for reading, guys. And more than anything, thanks for following this page if you do. I really appreciate it.